THE CONSEQUENCES
Wish I could just do my little actions with no consequences
Having done this the way I have for the duration of time I have, I've ran into my fair share of consequences, long and short term ones.
Short term
- Brain fog - I'm dumb these days. I don't really have all that much going on in my head. What little capacity I have left in the fishbowl I call a brain is reserved for food, calories and body. But even outside of those things taking up most of my thoughts, I don't have much going for me. I can't really focus on anything. My thoughts are held together by what feels like dental floss and childish dreams. I can't really read? I have ADHD so it's not fair to blame my illiteracy on my ed alone, but the combination is deadly. I'll stare at a page full of words and just. Not even try. I can barely string together coherent sentences and my lexicon is dreadful.
- Fatigue - "Idk how to tell u this but my body can't handle that level of cardio rn" a phrase I never thought I'd have to say abt walking for less than a mile when I was a kid. No biking. Nothing crazy like that. I can partly blame myself for this (ok, actually, that sounds ridiculous, literally all of this is on me, but what i mean is, this is something I knew would- yeah. you know what, there's no salvaging this) bc I don't exercise. I'm a bad anorexic in that way. But what it means is my muscles are SO GONE
- Skin problems - Acne, acne like a 14yo
- Shit fuck fingernails - HELL !!! THEY KEEP BREAKING
- Headaches - Kill me
Long term
- Arrhytmia - My heartbeat is fucked. Permanently. This adds to the fatigue problems and me not being able to strain my body like I used to. What the physical damage to my heart is, I don't know and I'm happier if I never find out until it takes me out at the ripe old age of 27 lol
- IBS - I'm a cliche. Everyone with a long term ed will develop IBS. It just kinda looks different for everyone. I shit like twice a month and life is pain outside of that. Ha.
- No hunger - Sounds great on paper but my brain just doesn't send me hunger signals anymore. I will still get stomach aches and such, I just don't really feel Hungry anymore, and I haven't in 10 years so it's kinda weird when I pretend to be recovered
Wish I could just do my little actions with no consequences
Having done this the way I have for the duration of time I have, I've ran into my fair share of consequences, long and short term ones.
Short term
- Brain fog - I'm dumb these days. I don't really have all that much going on in my head. What little capacity I have left in the fishbowl I call a brain is reserved for food, calories and body. But even outside of those things taking up most of my thoughts, I don't have much going for me. I can't really focus on anything. My thoughts are held together by what feels like dental floss and childish dreams. I can't really read? I have ADHD so it's not fair to blame my illiteracy on my ed alone, but the combination is deadly. I'll stare at a page full of words and just. Not even try. I can barely string together coherent sentences and my lexicon is dreadful.
- Fatigue - "Idk how to tell u this but my body can't handle that level of cardio rn" a phrase I never thought I'd have to say abt walking for less than a mile when I was a kid. No biking. Nothing crazy like that. I can partly blame myself for this (ok, actually, that sounds ridiculous, literally all of this is on me, but what i mean is, this is something I knew would- yeah. you know what, there's no salvaging this) bc I don't exercise. I'm a bad anorexic in that way. But what it means is my muscles are SO GONE
- Skin problems - Acne, acne like a 14yo
- Shit fuck fingernails - HELL !!! THEY KEEP BREAKING
- Headaches - Kill me
Long term
- Arrhytmia - My heartbeat is fucked. Permanently. This adds to the fatigue problems and me not being able to strain my body like I used to. What the physical damage to my heart is, I don't know and I'm happier if I never find out until it takes me out at the ripe old age of 27 lol
- IBS - I'm a cliche. Everyone with a long term ed will develop IBS. It just kinda looks different for everyone. I shit like twice a month and life is pain outside of that. Ha.
- No hunger - Sounds great on paper but my brain just doesn't send me hunger signals anymore. I will still get stomach aches and such, I just don't really feel Hungry anymore, and I haven't in 10 years so it's kinda weird when I pretend to be recovered