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KIOSK
"Who may I be for you?"


Took an interesting amount of ambien and caffeine pills before starting to type this out so we'll see how it looks like by the end of it. People expect so much from me, always have. You know how some people feel like chameleons? I feel like everyone who talks to me whishes I was one. Wishes I was anything and everything they want. But in reality I'm just me. I am what I am.

I remember being asked to help. "Help me" but not quite as direct. That's what it sounded like coming out of someone. But what it sounds like going in is "Hello you, you need to fix this. You, a 24yo flunkie drug user with severe mental health problems. Except your mental health problems are evil. So it's a little different. You need to be able to fix me"

When I make it very very clear that I dont fix people because I can't. People still get surprised when it's true. My hands don't look like hands. But whatever. I didn't give you your problems. I can't fix them. ANd I have my problems. ANd i can't fix those either. SO maybe people should undersrand that, that i dont fix people. I'm just like a person to hang out with when ur at ur worst.

I'm not a psychiatrist that's why when my ex texted me from the psych ward i didn't have anything to say to them. you can't blame me on your mental health getting to where you tried to off yourself. i didn't cause that, i didn't stop it, im not gonna fix it